Learn to Trust in you with This Infallible Strategy
Think of a skill that you master and that makes you feel the coolest in the world. Maybe you’re a good conversationalist, you play the guitar like Jimi Hendrix or you can make beautiful clay pots.
Now remember how you learned it.In my case, it’s about speaking English as Californian.
When I was nine years old my family and I moved to Las Vegas because of my dad’s work.
The only things I knew in English were numbers, colors, please and thank you . Even so, they enrolled me in a school where only that language was spoken.
I spent the class hours watching the teacher asking me what the hell she was saying.
At lunchtime, I would sit on the corner with my only friend: a sandwich of jam with peanuts that Mom packed every day in my lunch box. While I savored it, I watched my companions and paid attention to their conversations trying to catch a word.
They looked funny and I was frustrated that I could not participate.
The weeks passed and the monologues of the teacher began to make sense. I started to raise my hand to give my opinion in the class. In recesses I exchanged a few sentences with the other children and eventually, I dared to ask what their names were and how many brothers they had.
After my first year, I read, wrote, translated and even thought in English. He spoke so well that I even lost the Mexican accent.
I do not think I’m exceptionally smart or have any special skills for languages.
If I speak English, it’s because I spent three years practicing every day.
When you think about the skill that makes you feel the coolest, it is likely that you have gone through an ordeal similar to mine. Maybe you did not make friends with your sandwich, but you overcame setbacks and escalaste what I call “The Mountain of Trust.”
How to start trusting yourself
Imagine that you are in A and you want to get to B. To achieve this, you must walk on a path.
The first part of the route is flat, but suddenly a great mountain appears that paralyzes you!
There is no way to surround it.
Your only options are:
- The scales
- You find a pretext to abort the mission and return to point A
Take this writing as an example. It started as a river of absurd thoughts that I was letting go on this digital paper. They had no coherence, I was not even sure what I was going to say. I was afraid that someone would read it.
Even so, I continued working on it and the ideas took shape. After several revisions, I decided that the text was finished and I was confident to share it with you.
Imagine that instead of writing I had gone for a walk.
My screen would remain blank and you would not be reading me.
The key to gaining confidence is to face the mountain, do what most fear and insecurity gives you.
It sounds extremely simple, but it works. I already gave you two examples of how I have applied it in my own life, but I will give you more.
The first time I traveled alone by plane
I went to Thailand and was afraid of getting lost at the airport when it came time to transfer. Anyway, I climbed on the plane and continued with the plan. Currently, I have made more than 20 international trips and airports are like my second home.
How I became strong
Last year I signed up for a gym to take Yoga classes. There were also Cross fit classes and I decided to try them. The instructor suggested that he make weights to gain strength.
At first I repeated the instructions up to three times and I felt the most ridiculous, but every day I arrived punctually at 9 o’clock in the morning ready to do my workouts.
Six months later, I know the routine of memory and I have been increasing the weight I charge. The coach just shows up to ask how I’m doing but he does not give me instructions anymore. I feel my body stronger and that motivates me to continue.
When I started to drive
They gave me a standard car and it went off at every traffic light. The light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red while I tried to turn it on again. The people behind me shouted things to me. Either way he kept driving. That was ten years ago.
I still get stuck at the traffic lights, but now it’s because I’m distracted by the phone.
In all three examples, I overcame some kind of setback. I had to cross the mountain and in doing so I gained security.
Now think of an activity that you have postponed because you feel insecure.
Maybe you want to start a coaching / crafts / photography / (insert your favorite topic) but you stop because you do not have enough knowledge in your area of interest.
And you are right.
It is likely that you really lack experience, but that is not a good reason to postpone your dream.
Feel good doing it wrong.
At first you will be a disaster, but do not take it as a pretext to abort the mission.
Because trust is not obtained by thinking, but by doing what you prefer to avoid.